What's on my mind

So I have lots of updating to do and I know it. I have been to Cancun, what's new with football, my life, etc. But this morning I got a deeply disturbing message from someone whom I have known for a long time and do care about. He is the older brother of some of my oldest friends, but I still care for him a friend and have earnestly tried to make that clear. I have not spoken to him in a while in person. He had a cute little baby a few months ago and has since taken the time to get settled in and spend the necessary time with his child. I respect that and probably will do the same.

The message that I received said some pretty disturbing things to me which are really bothering me and I would like to get them off my chest. I am really confused and dumbfounded what brought this about and so I am really just going to use this blog as a vent system to get this out of my mind.

"Why would anyone want to be your friend- when ultimately everyone knows what you do to your so called friends.." This is part of the message that was given to me. I was called a few names and such, but there really isn't any need to repeat them. The part that really bothers me, is where this all came from, how it stemmed, and what do I need to do to remedy it. I have been told that there have been some various fighting and name calling between a few of these brothers, my friends. I can't imagine that my name would have been brought up but I really am not sure. I have put in more time to remain friends with these guys than it has been reciprocated. I have looked at these guys as my surrogate brothers for the longest time and so this hurts to know that one of them is having these feelings towards me.

So I'm just going to end my blog entry like this. I have always, and I'm gonna say it again...always loved my friends. I have been wronged, talked about, betrayed, lied to, at some point by some of my friends. But I know I have a loving and forgiving heart and am truly saddened by this message. I really would do anything for this guy if he asked. I would invest whatever is necessary to make amends. And that goes to whomever else is reading this. I tell Brittney all of the time, "I don't always know if I have done something wrong, but if you tell me what I've done or said, I will do whatever it takes to make it right, or to fix the problem".

I'm a grown man. An imperfect man....I make mistakes...I make them often...But I try to be a humble man who can still grow and get better. Please let me know if I have offended you or someone you love.....I also ask that you give me the benefit of the doubt to make it up to you. I am tired of all the hate and animosity in this world. I want to be someone who can provide a little bit of light to this world.